Embracing the path

Posted: 13/03/2018 by zandtao in Insight, Meditation, Struggle
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Embracing is not what I did. And that was because I was immature when the compassion decision was made.

The path takes many shapes, and that is why I have written about it so much in the last year. It is the most important thing in life but it is often ridiculed by a system that is threatened by its very existence. This is a system that on a wider level is controlled by conditioning with an essential part that enables the accumulation of the 1%. When you see all the intended confusion around – Dark Money Network, how are we able to make moral decisions? Simple, the path must decide. This is the path of compassion insight and creativity, and because of its nature gives us the ability to be beyond conditionality and make decisions. By this nature it is a threat to the power of the 1%.

When we are on the path we need never worry about our decisions, they are always right. But we have to be sure we are on the path. Because I was immature when I first found the path, I lacked the discipline to keep to the path.

Is there regret? No. But there is a deep feeling that I want to shout from the rooftops “embrace the path”.

I started with all the bells and banjoes experiencing the tremendous (5 Gateways-level) euphoria that can come with the path. Amidst all that euphoria I mixed with some wonderful people who helped me consolidate the path, and I will always be grateful.

After that consolidation still in the midst of all that euphoria, compassion drove me to start work in kids’ homes, and then into teaching. But I did not have the maturity to hold to the path after making that decision. I failed to deal with all the conflict associated with the world of work in these caring professions. Whilst I still partially followed the path I also allowed myself to slip into alcohol addiction. Within that period of addiction I still experienced sober moments when I became grounded in the path again. After the path gave me the strength to end that addiction I still did not become totally grounded in the path as I was then also immersed in the world of teaching. Again there were times when I was totally grounded but I did not embrace the path.

You need discipline to fully embrace the path, discipline that can come with meditation. But without the discipline fighting off conditioning can be difficult.

I have described my path as two childhoods. My first childhood was middle-classed in which there were no signs of the path and I was just conditioned – numb to any compassion insight or creativity; there was perhaps one sign, people said I was always smiling.

Once starting on the path after my upheaval I was too immature to hold to the path, I did not have the discipline required. I think of what happened in my second childhood. As I grew up through that second childhood whilst sometimes being grounded in the path it was definitely the case that I did not always hold to the path. Grounding was sporadic, the clearest example of which was the muse. When I was writing (during summer holidays) I got back to the path and experienced some of the joy again that comes with the initial euphoria of being on the path. The muse gave me that joy.

As I came towards the end of my second childhood I underwent a mid-life review. This led me to Buddhism and meditation. Once I started meditating life in teaching was on the way out. Life in teaching had always been polarised between term-time teaching and the path during the summer holidays. But that polarisation increased once I started meditating daily (or at least almost daily). Nigeria put an end to meditation and teaching. Every time I meditated I wanted to resign because of the appalling management situation at the school. But deeper was the aspiration to follow the path more closely.

When I had sufficient money I resigned and retired developing the path I am on now. At the time of resigning I wanted to study Buddhism and once I did that I became a writer. A writer is who I am now, I have matured into a writer. Meditation and study are part of the path, but writing is the whole of my path now.

I now embrace the path of writer, the writing path that is compassion, insight and creativity.

<– Previous Post “Responsibility” Next Post “Disputatious times” –>

Books:- Treatise, Wai Zandtao Scifi, Matriellez Education.

Blogs:- Ginsukapaapdee, Mandtao, Matriellez.

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