At the time of discussion of “The Two Paths” I was attempting to accommodate an intellectual Path; even whilst doing so I was uncomfortable with it. I tried to focus on the “shift” as described by HHDL but the intellect I was discussing with did not engage with the word – presumably because it was a non-intellectual process. Now that I have accepted mu it is clear that what I am aiming for is beyond intellect, and this whole rationalising of “Two Paths” was just an engagement with intellect. I am keeping this series of discussions on Two Paths on my blog as a warning as to how much the intellect can drag you in the wrong direction.
This intellectual challenging had been disturbing me. Despite seeing it as an attempt to look at two paths there was so much of an effort to reconcile the two approaches it was disturbing me. The same thing that happened before was happening again. I wanted some sort of inclusivity, this tolerance, and I was bending over backwards to reach it. My own intellect was beginning to dictate and think that the answer could be analysis in broad terms – as can be seen from this.
Last night all that changed, and it is now done and dusted. At the same time the answer is personal, so cannot be explained – no matter how much I want to explain it and include others in the process. 04.00 and I began thinking about this. It was all about enquiry, typically:-
Was insight contemplation?
I began framing a question for the group. Then I began thinking more and more about the question, and my mind became a bit of a turmoil. I forced myself to stop thinking about the group and began thinking for myself. Was I clear on all these questions? For me I was clear about many but what about contemplation and detachment – where I stopped yesterday? I needed to be clear of the turmoil, I needed clarity. And my mind started to focus – concentration – jhana. It was not a completely powerful jhana as I could remember from the past but there was focus, and this stayed – without any bells and banjos. I needed concentration to get at the answer, and then the answer is ….
With right concentration there is understanding. Understanding understands, consciousness understands.
The next thing I remember is waking up from a disturbing dream. Then dreaming again – a slashing nightmare – slashing is a dream symbol for the mind – sleeping again and the same slashing nightmare; and waking up.
Evaluation is fairly straightforward. Understanding is not reached through an analytical process – conscious or unconscious. Understanding or insight occurs when a channel to consciousness has been established. This insight is a thought and a process exactly as I had used before. It is not up to me to try and fit in with the intellect and its miseducated ego, in Buddhist terms there is a need for right concentration – jhana – not reasoning.
My title should of course be “done and dusted for now”, but it doesn’t feel like it so it isn’t.