Friends bearing gifts – promiscuancy

Posted: 13/02/2013 in Insight
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Recently I was involved in a discussion with someone online about the sexual misconduct precept. His approach – marriage was damaged, friends with benefits had its problems but didn’t hurt nearly as much. He quoted many figures about how damaged marriage is. I think there is much harm caused by those who play around even if the sex is consensual, and of course the fact that there is such sex available contributes greatly to the breakdown of marriage. For me the breakdown of marriage is intimately connected with the breakdown of society.

A few days later this story emerged, make of it what you will:-

Read the story – with epilog.

Corollary – This is the first stab at sci-fi in three years. During meditation the idea was so strong, was even writing in the middle of the night. But at the end no buzz nothing. Ah well.

Epilogue added 15/2/13

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Comments
  1. naivelysage says:

    Well at least you made a stab at telling a story. I didn’t follow it much beyond the first half because the story did not engage me sufficiently. The ‘story’ is a narrative about a culture that I have no reason to be interested in. Substituting ‘promiscuity’ with ‘promiscuancy’ and ‘lion’ with ‘leon’ and so on can only serve to remind the reader that the world you are constructing is an artifice and are not committed to making it seem real or habitable. In addition to a plausible environment you need sympathetic characters … maybe a boy who is being introduced to a potential mate but who feels completely at odds with the expectations of his family and community … too, there has to be a sense of movement .. the boy’s legs swinging as he sits on a ledge contemplating his future or a headlong flight through the forest after the community labels him a deviant. Then there is the story arc, the plot moving from the perception of a problem through engagement with it to a resolution or realisation. I’ve never been able to do this well as a writer but I recognise the elements of Plot, Action, Characters and Environment (PACE) to be essential to storytelling. Nevertheless you’ve done better than me in actually making a start and getting some words on the digital equivalent of paper.

  2. zandtao says:

    Very harsh – why? I have no problem with your not being engaged with the story but this type of criticism is unreasonable.

    If “Jeffrey Archer” teaches that you need PACE, does that mean that PACE is needed for all? Maybe it is needed to engage minds that have been brought up to need “PACE” engagement?

    I am not sure why when I occasionally write I choose such an artifice (all science fiction writers do), I just felt that I wanted to write the allegory in this way.

    I was writing a short to allegorise a story of a culture, I think, perhaps if I wanted to write a novel I would introduce characters. I was interested in drawing a connection between the 1%, promiscuity and cultural breakdown, a connection where in my view the 1% have promoted promiscuity to the detriment of marriage and in the case of Hollywood to justify their own immoral lifestyles.

    • naivelysage says:

      Sorry, you are right. My criticism was inappropriately harsh. This is an unfortunate tendency I have at times -to be carried away with my own ideas and analysis to such an extent that I don’t consider the effect of my words on the other person’s feelings. How we say things is important, whether we are telling a story or giving an opinion. With regard to the story, I know that you have views/ideas worth exploring and sci-fi is a useful device for doing this. As someone who has read a lot of this stuff and tried to write a little I would say that there is a useful question to be asked as to how we best convey ideas in story form in order to keep the reader/listener/viewer engaged; how we make the story widely accessible.

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